How i feel sometimes

I have fun on FFXI, i truely love it. I met my future wife on FFXI, the mother of future little taru's.

I've met some great people. Some friends I'll remember long after the game ends.

I got introduced to a great linkshell. Full of characters, some loud, some quiet, some fun, some infuriating , some bonkers, some that made me happy, some that made me sad. But all my friends.

I never got to play as much as i wanted, maybe sometimes i played too much. But sometimes i thought maybe i missed out.

Missions were fun, Bon, Nil and me did windy missions, then we 3 and Brooky did sandy missions, and it was the best of times. Pals working hard and having fun.

I never really had much gil, Nil was way better at farming than me. Then we did some bcnms. Great fun, plaenty drops, and we split it all down the middle

I always remember never having the best gear. Or even average sometimes. Never really had the chance to get it.
Yall have such nice stuff, maybe i was a lil jealous sometimes.

Then the swift belt incident happened. We got together as pals to get everyone a swift belt. But i had to wait, i was a taru. The NM i'd need to fight was Pandemonium Warden+1.
That felt bad.

Sure i'd get one, but i had to wait. A hume had to pop it for me. I never got a turn in the end, we ran out of time. We never did get to try again.

I hated that NM. He broke my online heart in a way. E-racism i thought. You can't have it, you're a taru.
I made my feelings clear, and you all agreed to help me . Sod the belt, you just can't imagine how much i hate that little fomor taru NM.
I had max hate, i had a codex, i wanted to kill that NM. But a member started randomly lowering my hate in Misareaux Coast. My head went 'pop'. a few mis-tells later and i left the shell. I felt so let down.

Change of server later, and i come back, bit nervous but i gave it a go. And it all went great. More fun.

Still the gear though. I don't wanna sound whiney. But just once i wanted to have something nice, something rare. Something that people could say they would like to have. Not to show off, just to be on par with my friends.

Then this happened.

>.<

Maybe i over reacted.

If i can just explain how it felt.

See, you all get to play whenever you want, so get the chance to get drops every week.
I have no problem with that at all.
But it happened again. I went to the back of the queue. Because i dunno. Not enough time to work it out. I dunno if how i saw the rules was the right way. But it was how i understood them. I was sure the drop would be mine. I still passed it didn't i? i wouldn't see a drop get lost no matter what i felt. It just felt like this little ginger girl didn't matter again. And i went 'pop' once more.

It's odd being me. You know that much.

I would suggest though, get an order of people through /randoms, then whoevers turn it is can pick what area or NM's to go for. I dunno. Say when they get their drop, it's the next persons turn.

But remember.

Please.

I love you all.

Even the beardy one.

Shu

Its nice to hear from you Shu.

I think maybe we all over-racted a little over the past week or so. None of us can really understand how you feel, as you say, we get online pretty much everyday, for a quite a few hours, we have more opportnities. You don't have this luxury.

I would like to do more stuff with you guys, as we used to have so much fun, been keeping an eye out for when your both on in the afternoons to ask if you wanna go get your belt, or go do that CoP mission you've stuck on for so long. With the level cap increase we no longer have to wait for a full pt, its just finding that golden moment when we all fine the right time

Maybe once every so often we should skip Salvage one day of the weekend to go do something else as an LS. We also seem to be falling into a pattern of going into Abyssea after Salvage, if you dont want to join us for Salvage your always welcome to come abyssea afterwords (directed at Nil aswel), tis a good stress reliever.

Well Shu, as you may or may not know, I love helping people out with missions and such that I can, even when its prolly gonna just be a suicide mission (think ACP). The problem with helping you with Missions is I don't see you on with Nilo very often. I don't know how you guys feel about leaving each other behind on missions (Akk n I don't go without each other) so generally I don't bring up to help you with them. If however you guys really don't mind going without each other then I'm sure we can get through some Missions and get some nice rings.

As for the belt NM, I'm happy to help anytime. Now its uncapped in there im sure its prolly easy as. I havent actually been in there since that update so idk, maybe there are ITs on the way, no clue.

Gear never makes the player btw, yeah im sure it helps but meh. All my whm gear apart from my CoP ring and festive egg (which is totally not the best ammp slot but meh) is AH buyable and pretty cheap as it's all NQ. I don't have great gear but it still does the job. Maybe you weren't talking about me in particular though, coz most ppl think mage gear doesn't really matter anyway...

I think everyone likes to just chill out together doing things that maybe arent so hectic as salvage. I know we all had a good time doing ZNM fights. If ppl get some Zeni up thats something we could have a go at. Some nice gears can drop and its fun to have a go at. I think we lost to Chigre like 3 times before we finally won, but its still a fun fight.

Idk what anyone elses' FFXI experience was like but my first LS when i was a new player wouldnt help me with anything. It took me 3 weeks to get Kazahm Keys, a month or so for G1, so I think we are pretty lucky to be in a LS where we are all helpful and friends.

Anywho I'm just rambling now. So just remember Shu, we are your friends, we don't mind helping (unless its after midnight coz i'll be wanting sleep) or just hanging out.

Shu i cant understand how you feel as to say. i do understand tho that this game is by far the best and the worst in the world. no over game i have played can bring such joy and yet such heart ache.

we have all been there, so im sure we all know how you feel even if its just a little. I remeber i joined FF to play with my friend in the UK after a week of playing and knowing nothing about the game and dying alot my friend quit left me alone in a game where i didnt know anything. Eventully i was asked to join a linkshell which gave me a foot in the door to start understanding where to go, but still knew nothing of game workings I turned up to a party the and got proper laughed at by everyone, i was also kicked from a party due to lacking skills, we have all felt at times we are worthless.

after a while i managed to get tiki to play and at this point my linkshell fell apart.... great this was all i needed 1 member decided however that to hell with it he would make a new shell and for months this ls contained about 4 people then 1 day we had 5 and this guy was a lil out there and he just started inviting people to linkshell all over the place. we started to grow and this started what we have today all it take is 1 person to go hey lets go at the right time and anything is possable.

so please belive me when i say that no matter what, the only thing that matters in this game is the ppl we meet along the way. I know if it wasnt for all of my friends on FF i wouldnt play it (lets be honest its pretty FN boring) until you get that green line with ya frinds name next to it thats when it comes alive

and you know deep down we will always help you in anyway we can, as others have said the biggest problem we have is finding the right time i dont know if it is possable but is there anytime once a week or two whatever is best for you when you and nil can ALWAYS get on this way we can work out a regular slot which can just be a LS help time or something that we can all enjoy together.